Sometimes...

Strangely enough today...I felt quite lonely. I ended up staying at work late, alone to try to get some work done (because honestly, I barely did any work all day even though I got in at 7:45AM after working out with J#1, ate my breakfast upstairs in the cafe, had a long lunch out for my coworker's birthday, a meeting we arrived late to due to lunch, et all). Sitting there at my desk, all of a suddent I was washed over with a huge feeling of loneliness. I think my being a social butterly takes its toll on me mentally. That's not to say I'm not happy and fine being alone from time to time, but there are times when you just wish you had someone or some place you could go and not feel alone, you know? Well it also probably didn't help that J#1 had expressed some news to me about his situation which really took the wind out of me and made me feel depressed. It broke my heart to hear what had said...I'm hoping he doesn't follow through with it. I'll honestly be really sad if he does go that route. Sorry, I know I'm being vague, but for good reason. It's like that saying goes, if you speak it, it will happen. I tried to be positive with him, but he was being a defeatist as my coworker had called it. It's frustrating to seem him in that state of mind. And as a friend, what can you do but try to make light of the situation; and unfortunately, he was stressed out and I called him out and said he was being irrational. "Irrational my ass!" he bellowed over IM. *sigh* Anyways...I barely ate anything for dinner and nearly didn't eat cause as I was texting CS he said you shouldn't eat after 7PM. 6:55PM. "You have 5 minutes eat eat eat." I replied "You're silly, I can't eat that fast!"

Okay...I'm just rattling now with a flow of consciousness. Maybe it's cause I'm tired...I should probably sleep now... I'll blog more...need to talk about "Paying It Forward," coworker's birthday lunch today, coming out to more friends and confusion of misdirected assumptions...

fI

P.S. That pic is of the (4) mini Hershey's Chocolate Bars with Almonds I consumed before writing this post. Are you jealous Drew?! hehe...Means I'm gonna have to do 100 more crunches now...:T