The Second...

So we finally got to hang out again after having a whirlwind time on Thursday evening.

I definitely enjoy his company, I know that for sure. I was anticipating it all day. Oh so very anxious, but I never let on to anyone really, even to him. I kept it inside like a prize for a job well done today at work (which by the way sucked monkey nuts as I was having a really bad case of the Mondays, which I should also mention a shout out to my coworker whom I think is hot for trying to cheer me up after my woes, but I digress...).

Was on my way to the gym and finally called him..."I just got up...Call me when you're done with the gym."

Finished up my cardio, then got into my car and called him back..."Hey I'm out to dinner right now, I'll call you when I'm done." So with that, I ran an errand to the ATM, then hopped on the freeway and as I got to my exit put in an order for my dinner..."It will be ready in 10 minutes." (Yum! Vegetarian Chinese food!). Got back to my apartment and lagged a bit online then showered and got going. Oh crap! 8:30PM! Way more than 10 minutes (mind you I called at 5 minutes before 8PM)! On my way there, he calls..."I'm home." Alright, I'll be there right after I pick up my food!Luckily, I got there in 5 minutes, looks like they were closing. Whoops! :X Anyways, headed straight for his place. Called him as I rounded the corner to his place..."Okay, I'll be out." He gets in, grabs my hand and goes for a kiss. A nice, sweet kiss. Oh how I miss him! :) He mentions that he was up until 8AM working on a project for a contractor job he does. Says he's only 45% done, and it took 4 days for him and his partner to even get that 45%. And unfortunately for him, it's due Wednesday. I felt bad. Well I won't keep you out too long! "It's okay. I told my partner I had to do my thing and he said he had to do his thing. So it works out."

We pull into my complex while holding hands then someone in the complex is in the parking lot and we quickly let go of each others hand. Sorry! "It's okay, I don't want to get shot!" *laughs* (If you knew where I lived you'd understand). So we park and head into my place as I unpack my dinner and put on Heroes. We both watch earnestly as I gobbled down my dinner and he watched and asked me questions about the show (which I liked! :D). In the middle of the show I got a phone call from my bi-best friend (I need better monikers for my friends...note to self: next post, run down on the list of characters). He has me sit down in front of him and proceeds to massage my back. He's made several comments about how tense I am (I blame it on work and partly due to the life changing event a while back, I still need to get a damn expensive massage though...oy!!! >_<). He embraces me as he finishes off the massage. I definitely enjoy his company. We end the show...

Studio 60 starts and well it's not as compelling as Heroes (albeit despite me having met D.L. Hugely whilst at the golf driving range, but that's another story I should save for next time). We end up continuing more massages and him biting me on the nape of my neck twice. Ouch! Kinda kinky, so I slapped him on the arm. *laughes* He then later pulls me down to the floor next to him and we begin to kiss. I stare into his eyes. "What?" Nothing...I just like looking at you. *giggles* He kisses me on the forehead. "My back is hurting, let's go to your bed." Okay.

We lay down on my bed perpendicular to sleeping position. "Why do you always do that?" *laughes* Sorry! We finally lay right and start kissing again...

...

I lay there collecting myself as he goes to the bathroom and rinses out. He comes back and we cuddle. "Was it good?" Yah, really good! *giggles* He kisses me again on the forehead and pulls my pants up and I pull my shirt down. "I should go." But I lay there staring eagerly into his eyes. *he giggles* "Aww!" and plants another kiss on my forehead. I really do miss him! So we get ready to go. Get into the car and drive him back as we hold hands. I pull a left nearing to his house and he says..."Give me a kiss." *muah* We continue to hold hands until he gets out. He rushes out hurridly.

So that was my night with Mr. Right. But one thing though (actually, maybe several). I haven't the nerve to tell him I wanna take it slower. I told ElSenorJesse (ESJ herein, and this is not his SN so don't go bothering him!) I was feeling a bit like a man whore as Mr. Right and I keep ending up on the bed. But ESJ calmed my fears, slightly, stating:

ESJ: i think if you enjoy each other's company and have fun, then [...] can be a part of that
ESJ: if you are meeting up just to [...] wordlessly then maybe it would be whorish
ESJ: but if u go out, hang out, talk, get to know each other
ESJ: and then have [...]
ESJ: thats not whoreish
ESJ: but on the other hand
ESJ: you may not be ready for too much [...]...
ESJ: and by that i mean if you are figuring things out in your head... abt being gay and all that, if you are gay or bi or whatever,
ESJ: then the good feelings of [...] may confuse u even further

You can figure out the ellipses yourselves. And I think ESJ is right. The latter part is confusing me. I mean it's great and all...but I don't want to be just about that all the time. The cuddling, frolicking and kissing is fine as it stands. That makes me more happy than anything. But throw in the [...] and it just throws me for a loop! I don't want to be a jerk either but ESJ thinks that it may work out for me, one of two ways: 1) "he'll either accept [my] wishes and be content to hang out and kiss" or 2) "he'll piss off... in which case he's not worth it anyway." So next time we hang out (likely on Halloween if he decides he wants to attend his friend's party with me in tow or we go and do something else), I think I need to bring it up so I have at least some sense of selfworth in this situation. Anyone else got thoughts on this?!

fI